Choosing to Love {Extravagantly}

I am beginning to read one of many books about marriage.  I am pumped!  I am currently reading Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas.  Daaaang I feel like each sentence hits me like a ton of bricks.  Mainly because it is the truth of the Gospel as it relates to marriage.  And goodness do I have so much to learn when it comes to loving others and following Jesus wholeheartedly.  This life is an adventure and we are constantly learning! 

The chapter I read this morning in Sacred Marriage was about "Learning to Love".  It covers the greatest commandments, Love God and Love Others.  And the truth that, if we are not loving others - we are failing to love God.  (1 John 4:20-21) 

What I read today fit in well to a conversation I had with my dear friend in South Africa via Skype yesterday.  (Praise the Lord for technology!) We were talking about how hard it is to love others sometimes and Kait mentioned a quote that stuck with her in one of our other friend's insta profiles.  "Love Extravagantly",  it is such a powerful picture of the love God desires for us to have for Him and for others & it is also a translation of 1 Corinthians 13:13 (MSG)! 

A few good nuggets of truth from Sacred Marriage: Ch 3. Learning to Love

• "Christian love...must be chased after, aspired to, and practiced."

• "The beauty of Christianity is in learning to love, and few life situations test that so radically as does a marriage."

• "Yes, it is difficult to love your spouse. But if you truly want to love God, look right now at the ring on your left hand, commit yourself to exploring anew what that ring represents, and love passionately, crazily, enduringly the fleshly person who put it there. It just may be one of the most spiritual things you can do."

Then I was reading a blog and it quoted my favorite quote from Tim Keller's The Meaning of Marriage.  I have the audiobook version and I remember listening to this quote and re-listening to it a few years ago thinking -- this is what I want to find.  We are imperfect people.  We mess up. We are selfish.  We hate when we want to love. We put ourselves before others.  And this quote is a powerful reminder of how to view "falling in love".  

• “Within this Christian vision for marriage, here’s what it means to fall in love. It is to look at another person and get a glimpse of the person God is creating, and to say, “I see who God is making you, and it excites me! I want to be part of that. I want to partner with you and God in the journey you are taking to his throne. And when we get there, I will look at your magnificence and say, ‘I always knew you could be like this. I got glimpses of it on earth, but now look at you!’” - Timothy Keller (The Meaning of Marriage)  

Another related quote from Sacred Marriage is: 

• "Marriage requires a radical commitment to love our spouses as they are, while longing for them to become what they are not yet.  Every marriage moves either toward enhancing one another's glory or toward degrading each other." - Dan Allender and Tremper Longman III.

I am praying for a continued love for God and love for my future husband, Charles :).  I am thankful for this new journey and for the opportunity to know the love of God more through the covenant of marriage.  

What Do You Love...?

Titus 2:3b-4

Older women...they are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands...

The Word encourages us to learn from those who have gone before us.  I have done that in many areas of my life over the years.  Now, I am so excited to look to those who have gone before me in marriage and learn from them.  This week I read an article about marriage and it asked the reflective question: 

What do you love about your husband? 

So after reading some of the comments from strangers at the bottom of the article, I thought, I should ask this to my sweet friends!  The responses have been so encouraging, hopeful, fun, and beautiful.  As the tweet with the article stated, "Marriage is funny and fragile and hard and wonderful all at the same time." I realize there are so many seasons of life and ups and downs in marriage.  And I am so thankful to hear from those who have been on the ride: newlyweds to thirty years! 

Here are some of the responses I got back:

His steadfastness

His pursuit of Jesus and of me

His leadership

He chooses joy despite life circumstances

Our same priorities

He can be silly

He is committed to our marriage

He values family

His love of Jesus 

He learns how to love me better

His sense of humor and laughter

He is my best friend

He knows me better than anyone else

He challenges me 

He makes me feel protected and safe

He loves me in my craziness 

He has an attitude of adventure

He is welcoming and hospitable

and many more

I really feel blessed to be able to learn from these ladies.  To ask them questions in the future about marriage, life, difficulty, love, etc.  I am thankful for their honesty.  I am also thankful for their husbands! The men who have chosen and keep choosing to love these special women! I am thankful that the Lord is faithful. 

Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God, and keep the vows you made to the Most High. 

Psalms 50:14 NLT

The tweet mentioned above: @incourage: "Marriage is funny and fragile and hard and wonderful all at the same time."http://t.co/2T6pUtXCJ8 #inbooks 

Engagement: Preparing for Marriage

Since high school I have greatly enjoyed reading relationship and marriage books (#nerdstatus).  I loved reading articles and what others had to say about relationships, even when I wasn't in one.  I just love studying people and behaviors and life!  I have watched as many of my friends have married in the last six years. Getting the chance to listen to others' experience, opinions, encouragement, and wisdom made me hopeful and excited.  For a season, I had to put all those 'relationship' books away because in my deep longing for a husband, reading them stirred up bitterness and discontent.  Thankfully the Lord satisfied my longing heart with himself, showed me who I am as his precious, beloved daughter, and used those years to shape me, change me, and grow me!

Now, I am excited to get a chance to have conversations with friends, pick up books, and read online articles and blogs with my man and the future we are about to embark on in mind. I am ready to read, listen, and learn from others who have gone before me!

I hope to share this journey with you as you wait, prepare, and enjoy your marriage from the Lord. I want to share what I am reading & my thoughts about it! Feel free to comment and share additional thoughts about the topics of conversation!

A Warning to Women from The Resurgence

{ The following words are directly from ^ }  

 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. - Proverbs 31:30

Eve was propositioned with a simple question from the snake and her resulting conclusion was, ”God is holding out on me. I deserve better than this. My eyes are delighted and my desire is stirred (Gen 3:6) – I think I’ll take this matter into my own hands.”

Eve had no fear of the Lord. In that moment, she did not:

     Cherish God's provision

     Trust God's goodness

     Believe in God's promises

It starts with recognizing that the scariest place to be is away from him and the safest, most peaceful and joyous place to be is holding hands with Dad.

{Back to my thoughts}

I know that over the last few years, two of my go-to verses {when I was having a pity party or discontent or overcome by longing} were Psalm 34:8-10 & Psalm 84:10-12. Both of these verses cut deep to my selfish and sinful heart.  They spoke the truth I needed to hear.  They gave perspective to my misguided attention.  They humbled me to see the truth about myself and my God.  

The lie from the enemy all along has been - "the Lord is keeping good things from you.  He doesn't love you.  He doesn't want what is best for you.  You can have what is better if you just take things into your own hands."  Oh how I wrestled with these lies {and still do}.  Over and over again, my Father would gently and lovingly remind me, "I do not withhold good from you.  I will give you everything you need.  There is nothing better than being in a relationship with me, my daughter.  If you don't have it, you don't need it right now."

Psalm 34:10 "The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing"

WOW! In seeking the Lord, his promise is that you will not lack any good thing. How hard is it to believe that?! So hard! Praise the Lord for his grace and continual reminders of his goodness even when I forget or believe the lies of the enemy.

We are so dearly loved by a God who can provide every single thing that we need! And he will provide it in His perfect timing.  We have everything we need and more in a relationship with Him.  "For those who fear him have no lack!" (vs. 10)

From one life student to another --- may God bless, love, and encourage you with his words of truth and the community of people he has given you!